===== TACTICS Private Detective and Investigator Agency. You can print this document from your browser and then close the window with the "X" button in the top right-hand area. ======== Here are a few interesting state laws and funny things said during actual court testimony. Alabama It is illegal to be blindfolded while driving. Dominoes may not be played on Sunday. It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church. California Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses. Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. Women may not drive in a house coat. Florida Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. It is illegal to skateboard without a license. When having sex, only the missionary position is legal. Ohio It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. It is illegal to get a fish drunk. Pennsylvania A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel. Louisiana It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. Indiana It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks. Liquor stores may not sell milk. Michigan You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan. Nebraska It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup. Kansas Prohibits shooting rabbits from a motorboat. New York A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll. It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun. The penalty for jumping off a building is death. Texas It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but must have the wipers. It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. It is illegal to milk another person's cow. A recently passed anti crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. Australia Children may not purchase cigarettes, but can smoke them. You may never leave your car keys in an unattended vehicle. It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burglar. It is illegal to read someone's tarot, or give them a psychic reading as these are forms of witchcraft. England Those wishing to use a television must apply for a license. It is illegal to leave baggage unattended. Picking up abandoned baggage is as act of terrorism. France Between the hours of 8 AM and 8 PM, 70% of the music in the radio must be by French composers. Thailand It is illegal to leave your house if you are not wearing underwear. You must wear a shirt while driving a car. You must pay a fine of $600 in Thailand if you're caught throwing away chewed bubble gum on the sidewalk. If you do not pay the fine, you are jailed. No one may step on any of the nation's currency. Funny Things Said During Actual Courtroom Testimony Q: Are you sexually active? A: No, I just lie there. Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo. Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice that I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere. ===== TACTICS Private Detectives © Telephone: 1 (228) 313-5399 Website: http://tacticsdetectives.bravehost.com/ ----------------------------- Copyright © 2009 TACTICS Detectives, Inc. All rights reserved.